For all you Archers

[azslim]

I am sure there are a few of you that can relate to this, I know I can. My first bow was a fiberglass recurve......and fireworks were legal in Wy when I was growing up.



Archery & the Nature of Boys - Author Unknown

Around age 10 my dad got me a really cool present ... one of
those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the
first month I went around our place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck
by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will
take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.

After a week or two simple targets got boring, so being the 10
yr.old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking
strips of cut up Tshirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and
was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Cool! Keep in
mind that I lived in an area that was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really
wasn't any fire danger. I'll put it this way - a set of post hole
diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows
into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I was making good
progress and my aim was honestly quite good but even the flames weren't quite
enonogh that day. As I was lighting up another arrow I looked over
under the carport and saw a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). Yup,
my trusty light bulb went off.

I grabbed the can and started walking toward the smoking
stump, but then thought . . . when I hit the can with the arrow it would probably
just spray out in a disappointing manner. I could probably do better.
Let's face it. . . to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself, the
ether really didn't seem like it was going to be all that flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black
powder for my dad's muzzle loader rifles). Yeah! Now we're talkin'!

Back outside, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened
up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit
around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No
biggie...1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda
like a firecrackeryou know? I knew you had to pack it tight to make an explosion,
so I was still pretty safe. . . just a cool flash, right?

On second thought, screw that. I'm going back in the house
for the other can. Yup, I got the second can of pyrodex and dumped it
too. OK. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2-stroke-gassed-up
arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released the arrow
from my bow I heard a clunk behind me. In a slow motion time frame, I
turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH S##T!

He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10
minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking
towards me in slow motion with a [beeep] look in his eyes. I turned back towards my
target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can
rightat the bottom. Bull's eye! . . . right through the main
pile of pyrodex and into the can. WOW!

The shock knocked me off my feet. Well, truthfully, I don't know
if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just a
reflex kick-back from 235 frickin' decibels of sound. Honestly, I
thinkI only caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence,
but I will tell you there was an instant cloud of dust, grass, and bugs all
hovering 1ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like the
earth moved 12 inches down and left all the dust, swarms of
grasshoppersand spiders, and even a crawfish or two right where
they had been sitting. Wow! Amazing!

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT
TURNED PURPLE! There was a slow rolling mushroom cloud about that had
climbed to about 2000ft above our backyard. There was a big sweetgum
tree by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That
hulk just gave up and fell over.

I was on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
Thundercats T-shirt shredded.

My dad was on the other side of the carport having what I can
onlyassume was a Vietnam flashback - ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE, YOUR
BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE, DAMIT, CEASE FIRE!!!!!

I noticed that his hat had blown off and was lying 30 ft. behind
him in the driveway. I also noticed, with a gut-wrenching
> feeling, that all the windows on the north side of the house had blown out. My
Honda185s 3-wheeler was parked near the site and now sat with its
plasticf enders drooped down and touching the tires. Dang! I
could even see the imprint of the tread into the plastic. . .musta been hot, still
smokin'. . .funny what you notice at times like that.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. Truth
is, I don't know even if I said something. I couldn't hear anything. .
even inside my own head. I don't think he would have heard me
anyway... not that it really mattered.

I don't remember much from this point on. I said something,
felt a sharp pain, saw black, woke up, felt another sharp pain, blacked out,
woke later...my mother told me later that I repeated this process for
more than an hour. She also said she had to give me CPR and try
to keep dad from continuing to get at me. Yeah, bring him back to life so dad
can kill him again. Thanks mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump
again. Mom had been complaining about that thing for years and dad never
did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and took care of
business.

Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. I still have some
sort of bone growth abnormality . . . either from the blast or the
beating or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids outside
more....into a good sport like archery. Its good discipline and will
teach them skills they can use later on in life. Something they won't
learn in school.

[tedicast]

I'm cryingreadingthat. That was too freaking funny! Thanks for the laugh.

[madoktor1]

Now that's funny right there. Sounds like something I did with model paint bottles, firecracker fuses and gun powder. There are pieces of the old wellhouse still standing.

[akdd]

Great story thanks

[Doegirl]

Tooooo funny ;D

Hmmm, I've got some Goex FFg in the basement. No, bad idea

[BT]

LOL!

Sounds like some of the stuff I did around 10 years old ;D
Maybe not on such a grand scale....

[snoodslapper]

I grew up on a farm we were caretakers for and the old timer that owned it had all kinds of "war trophies" from either Korea or WWII (or both) in his barn. Long story short, isn't it amazing some of us survived into adulthood?

[azslim]

I posted this story on another board and a friend shared his experience, thought you might like it too.



Rolling on the floor laughing! Good to know I wasn't the only kid who did stuff like that. I remember one time turning the family outhouse into a rocket ship. I was trying to burn out a wasp nest after the wasps had gotten me good a week or two earlier. I thought if a little gasoline was good, a lot was better. The nest was under the seat area, so I dumped a little gasoline down the hole...I decided that it wasn't enough, so I poured the whole gallon can. Then I stood out the doorway and flicked a lit arrow down the chute with a homemade bow with fishing cord string. Ka-whooooom! The force sat me right on my butt in the outhouse pathway, the outhouse was elevated off it's foundation several feet, then collapsed when it crashed back to earth in a flaming mess. Caught the sage brush on fire, and it was going hell for leather toward the barn. The pit where the toilet had sat looked like a flaming vent from the depths of Hades. Forget a garden hose...we didn't have one...we had a 70 foot well with a rope and bucket. Mother must have been in the kitchen and saw what was going on, because she suddenly appeared like a guardian angel with an old blanket she had wet down in the rain barrel by the back porch. We beat the fire into submission and saved the barn. I was dreading when Dad got home, but when he found out my intention was to get rid of the wasps, he just said, " Well boy, start digging a new toilet pit tomorrow...we'll build a new one. But I'm damned sure glad I wasn't in the son-of-a-gun when you torched it off!"

The next day I was out there with a pick and shovel digging a new pit, and dumping the dirt in the old one. Know something...digging in red clay sure does build up some hellacious muscles!

-Rogue-

[BT]

NICE! ;D

[snoodslapper]

Is it safe to say you were a fire-bug? Ha! What boy isn't? Fireworks configured in the most dangerous way possible or to propel God knows what to God knows where, homemade flamethrowers out of hairspray, improvised pyrotechnics to oust the odd unsuspecting rodent from a deep hole, etc. Ah, I think you and I would have been good friends and maybe would have lost some fingers in the best case scenario...

We had an outhouse, too, that seemed to attract paper wasps and hornets. We had indoor plumbing, but maintained the old one-holer for convenience when we were outdoors working so we wouldn't have to take our dirty boots and bibs off in order to be allowed into Mother's clean house.

Man, thanks for the laughs! Those stories are great! Were you Bo or Luke??? ;D